Tarot Aftermath

 Within the last two weeks I've come to realize a few things. One, that paying for school out of pocket, even for one, online class, it's expensive for someone who makes less than twenty-thousand dollars a year, especially when your out put is more than your input as far as checks and bills are concerned. Two, that I really enjoy reading Tarot cards. Not just for myself, but for others, and I've now had the privilege of putting this to the test a few times. In person and online. 

    

    Prior to Sunday I had announced for a few days over my Instagram that I would be giving away free Tarot readings. While I don't have a large following (which in this case was probably a good thing), I did get to read for a few people online, and Sunday was the day I sat down to pull cards, and jot down notes (in my lovely Snow White notebook while listening to classical music like Chopin). 

    Here's the thing about Tarot, and, at least for me, writing in general, it's Exhausting! It really does take a lot of mental focus and I prefer writing everything by hand. Yes, keyboards are nice, but the internet is distracting whether you can put a time limit on a block for it or not. I find that I switch through songs a lot less on my phone using iHeart Radio than I would if I had YouTube up on my computer. Plus, classical music songs, some anyways, have a tendency to be a lot longer than a three-and-a-half minute hit. 

    The exhausting bit isn't just mental though, it's something more. Tarot cards involve interpretation and intuition to unlock and understand, but when I got caught up writing a piece for my story at work the other day, I realized that investing yourself into characters, unlocking their  minds and dipping into how they think takes quite a bit of mental work too. 

    I was actually impressed when my characters popped into my head Thursday night, and I had to focus between running my machine at work and getting everything down between a woman called Dirk, a man she calls Quinn and the doom that is the AI they're trying to take down, but that's a matter for another time.

     Everything change for me in that span of time, with her thoughts and his reactions and what such imminent doom might spell for them in what could be their last moments. Perhaps I wasn't so much impressed with myself as I was with the resulting feelings after. I was tired and empty. Drained might be a more appropriate term. 

    When I had sat down to do the Tarot pulls, I was ready to do them all, write them down, type them up, except, I forgot that there is a strain on the mind, and that after I took care of the first one, I had to slow down a bit, writing them out turned into jotting notes and to give each person their reading to the best of my abilities, I had to type them up over the span of a few days. By no means am I sorry about this. There is a trust being built with a client and their reader and the last thing I want to do is rush that and do a piss-poor job, especially if I plan on offering readings as a service, and as a way to help pay for school.

    Paying for school, this is a ball game I lost miserably the first time a few years ago, and I'm trying to do things a little differently, okay, a lot differently this time around. 

    Without going into to many useless details, things turned out to be much more expensive than originally known, where what I thought was going to be the price of three classes, turned out to be the price of once class. So, it's a bit of a set back as I'm only taking one class now, and I was initially upset, it showed me that I need to do more in other ways to get where I need to be, and the one thing that I really have at my disposal right now is Tarot cards.

    I have learned a lot this week reading for people, and I know I still have a lot to learn, but there is a point where reading isn't enough and you have to learn by doing. In this process I do hope to be able to open an online store, perhaps Etsy, to offer a few readings at affordable prices. If it comes to the point where this happens to be successful (one reading will count as a success I think) I plan on using every penny to help pay for future classes. That's not to say I'm not pinching pennies elsewhere, but again, every little thing helps and I cannot rely on anyone without helping myself first.

    This is one of those huge-small victories for me! I'm tired of hanging on the past and I don't think I've ever wanted to move and keep pushing forward as much as I do now. Anything and everything I do anymore, no matter how small, is in the hopes that I attain my goals. Goals such as furthering my writing career, one day being able to travel and hopefully not be stuck in such a bottomless pit. 

The Good, The Bad, The A.I.

  Last night I found myself reading tips and tricks, and everything in between for blogging and networking. If I haven't admitted it yet, note that I'm doing so now; I have no idea what I'm doing with this blog, or quite frankly, most of social media along the internet as it now stands. 

    

    My long term goal(s), if anyone's curious, and I actually said this out loud to my dad today, is that I have some sort of foundation when I hopefully go to publish a novel, or an array of short stories, or anything really. 

    I absolutely love the communities on Instagram and Twitter when it comes to young authors, or small businesses advertising their shops. Maybe that's what I long for too, to be part of something. Which, in reality, it makes prefect sense for someone who doesn't do much but work, eat and sleep. Yes, I'm boring, and I'm working to change this. However, I do like my independence and solitude.

    None of that is really the point, the point is, when you find things that tell you to post often, to find things that intrigue you, that speak to you, you write about that!

     My Tarot post, while, they are very much for me, since they're explaining my cards, I have to assume not many are really going to care for that. Perhaps, if they know me personally, or we have a good relationship between screens and across the internet, but someone dropping by is probably just scanning it and moving on.

    That being said, I would love to interact and talk with more people!

    Anyways, I'm hoping this is the beginning of a new series of posts. I still plan on posting my Tarot things, I like writing for it, but I would like to try my hand at book reviews too, and hopefully, my finding, and or thoughts as I delve into the realm of Artificial Intelligence. 

    I'm completely serious about this writing thing, about one day publishing a book, and after an intense dream about a month or so ago, AI has been on the forefront of my mind and will be playing a large role in what I'm writing at the moment, and as long as I keep whatever momentum I have going, then I have to believe that it's bound to go somewhere. I don't want to give much away yet, but it's safe to assume that Artificial Intelligence isn't going to be playing a pretty role.

    So yes, it's short, and it hops around, but here's to goals, and new experiences, or rather, new versions of the same.

A Small but Grand Victory

Who would have thought something would finally work out for me? It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless, and I am beyond excited!

     On a whim, a sponsored post on my Instagram appeared and it was for online, creative writing classes. I clicked the link, added my email address for more information, and the next morning, I'm having this brilliant conversation with a woman named Jamie and she's helping me enroll! Now, I still have to wait for an official acceptance letter, but with all the bullshit I've been dealing with because of the debt I've racked up due to trying to attend a forty-thousand dollar school that didn't want want to help me carry over a semester... I try to take full responsibility for this, for any screw up in my life really, but it's hard when I couldn't even get people to talk to me in person. So, I'll leave it at that. The point of this post, small as it may be, is to be celebratory. 

     Anyways, Jamie helped me go around one thing or another and waive whatever so-called transcript I have so I can pay out of pocket. While a few classes isn't going to break the bank, it's still going to be tight to afford, but I have every intention of pulling it off and I'll be damned if I blow this shot.

   Now, to mention the fact that over the weekend, a lovely friend of mine, who I've mentioned before, reads tarot and completed a Grand Tableu Lenormand tarot spread for me, and one of the main points to carrying forward was to do something with my writing, perhaps even take a class? Now I might be going back to school, online or not, it's a starting point that could end up being a bachelor's degree in English and creative writing.

    I wish I could convey how ecstatic I really am, something equivalent to those Budweiser party commercials you see on television all the time, silly, I know, and I'm not much of a drinker, but it's the partying point that matters. I'm twenty-five, the last thing I want to be doing is going to school when or after I'm thirty, I would really like my life together sooner rather than later, and hoping, with my entire being, that these online classes are finally a much needed step forward in the right direction.