A Small but Grand Victory

Who would have thought something would finally work out for me? It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless, and I am beyond excited!

     On a whim, a sponsored post on my Instagram appeared and it was for online, creative writing classes. I clicked the link, added my email address for more information, and the next morning, I'm having this brilliant conversation with a woman named Jamie and she's helping me enroll! Now, I still have to wait for an official acceptance letter, but with all the bullshit I've been dealing with because of the debt I've racked up due to trying to attend a forty-thousand dollar school that didn't want want to help me carry over a semester... I try to take full responsibility for this, for any screw up in my life really, but it's hard when I couldn't even get people to talk to me in person. So, I'll leave it at that. The point of this post, small as it may be, is to be celebratory. 

     Anyways, Jamie helped me go around one thing or another and waive whatever so-called transcript I have so I can pay out of pocket. While a few classes isn't going to break the bank, it's still going to be tight to afford, but I have every intention of pulling it off and I'll be damned if I blow this shot.

   Now, to mention the fact that over the weekend, a lovely friend of mine, who I've mentioned before, reads tarot and completed a Grand Tableu Lenormand tarot spread for me, and one of the main points to carrying forward was to do something with my writing, perhaps even take a class? Now I might be going back to school, online or not, it's a starting point that could end up being a bachelor's degree in English and creative writing.

    I wish I could convey how ecstatic I really am, something equivalent to those Budweiser party commercials you see on television all the time, silly, I know, and I'm not much of a drinker, but it's the partying point that matters. I'm twenty-five, the last thing I want to be doing is going to school when or after I'm thirty, I would really like my life together sooner rather than later, and hoping, with my entire being, that these online classes are finally a much needed step forward in the right direction. 

The Middle and the Poor Class

    While it may sound like the title to some heated debate, I promise I'm not going there. It is more like I'm trying to figure it out for myself, or I'm just mad because I work a dead-end job, have skills that won't be of use anywhere else, and would much rather be writing from home, or at least doing something a little less tedious and a lot more soul-moving if that makes any sense.

    I'm sure the last thing anyone wants to hear is someone who can't get anywhere complain, which yes, is sort of what I'm doing, but I'm trying to fix it too. I have no problem owning up to my own mistakes, my own faults, and while it isn't the easiest trying to do something about it, I'm not completely discouraged.

    It was a post on Twitter that has me writing this, even if it is later useless. It was a post for a job to write for an online community with things that deal with pop culture. Some of the requirements that it wanted were already have a large follower base across multiple social media platforms, and the time to write three to five articles a week. Talk about time being a faster killer than usual... The not so funny thing is that I'm writing this as I count down the seconds until i have to get ready and leave for work.

     Please don't get me wrong though, the fact i even have a job means more than anything. I might complain, I  might hate it a lot of the time, but it DOES pay the bills, it lets me purchase things on my own no one in their right mind would buy for me (eighty crystals, and twenty more Funko Pops please), and when I have some extra I can help out other people as well. They say you the more money you have the more greedy you become, at least, that's what it seems like, and sure there are people who donate a good portion of it, but lets me real, how many are doing it for tax write offs? 

    Okay, enough of that, I said I wasn't going to get into it. 

    Anyways, it's just one of those things where I'd like to believe I'd try to do good by others. 

    The whole point to this is that I am only twenty five and I've watched the world change so much. I know the kinds of responses people think towards this... yes, I know I haven't seen war, or fought for the right to vote, or was held against my will because my race is full of assholes... But I've seen gas shoot up so high that minimum wage barely covered it, I learned how to live from paycheck to paycheck because that's what my parents did, what they do. No one knew how to help me get into college because no one had ever been there themselves, and when I finally made it in, I didn't know anyone to have and sort of 'IN' to land myself a job, even when I was promised work-study benefits. Should I have tried harder? Probably. Was I eighteen and clueless. Hell yes.

     Even now, my last few jobs I had were attained with the help of someone I knew that already worked there. Resumes are words on paper, those tests you take after you fill out an application, they are fake, terrible representations of you. I cannot tell you the anxiety I get when I have to take a test, let alone to give someone what they want to hear and have the test come back with something along the lines of 'you should not hire this person, ever. Do not even consider them.' 

    So yes, while I greatly dislike my job, and it pays the bills, it's also the hardest thing to find another, because stress, anxiety, depression, they're killers too, and right now, I just work my ass off in the hopes of raises and being able to afford to go back to school. There's a reason I don't live on my own anymore, perhaps a few of them and I'm sure they're not hard to figure out. I also know I'm not the only one in such a situation, that there are lots of us out there, and plenty of us worse off. I have so much love and respect for those who fight, who keep going; For those who do have it together and are making it, making something of themselves, and while I'm sure I probably don't have much right to write about any of this, I too am going to keep fighting, and firmly believe that none of us are alone, and we all need one another.

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

"All That is Gold Does Not Glitter"
J. R. R. Tolkien