Full Moon in Sagittarius

    So It's been a really off week, plenty of ups and downs, a cold that won't make up its mind if it's staying or going, and do not even get me started on the weather. Furthermore I haven't done much in the ways of Tarot or writing, though I've made a good dent in the book I've recently started (and haven't dropped it yet to start something else). I guess that's why I felt the need to do this Full Moon spread by @ethony on Instagram. Not just because the question are some I definitely need to be asking myself, but being a Sagittarian, I feel a little connected to this moon I did have dreams about elves and centaurs last night after all). 

    Apparently, with this moon being a blue moon, it is aligned with fate, and it is the first of two full moons that will take place in Sagittarius.

     I've been seeing this quote around a lot

"The universe is throwing us a wild card—one last chance at getting the hand we’ve been gambling for all along."

     What I take from this is that we've got a shot at whatever chances we've been taking to actually seeing them comes to fruition by the end of the full moon in June. This actually delights me seeing as I've got a lot of plans for the next few months, I don't know if I would say they're huge plans, but for me, they are, and I do not take lightly the decisions I'm making with them. 

    I'm not sure if that comes off as mysterious or not, but a girl does have to keep a few things to herself. 

    Anyways, the spread consists of five cards asking the following questions.: 

     1. What impulses need taming? Two of Wands 

     2. Where can I best direct my energy? Knight of Cups (Rx)
     3. How can I best redirect my aggression? Four of Wands (Rx) 
     4. Should I speak up or stay quiet? (look for clues in the card you pull as to what this card is trying to tell you) The Empress (Rx) 
     5. What spiritual and personal beliefs need re-examining? Ace of Wands (Rx)

 I always worry when my cards are reversed, and there's a lot of them this time. Believe me when I say I shuffled the hell out of them. I even let the floor get involved. 

     Without going into detail about every card, I remind myself that tarot cards tend to not beat around the bush and they don't really care about what you want to hear, and will snarkingly tell you how it is. 

    The cards tell of a choice that needs to be made, and that there may be more than one, but I only have the energy to make, follow through, and put the energy into that one choice. That choice being ( I think ) what I want to do in the next few months, while the Knight of Cups speaks to my selfishness. I know, I know, and I know, that being selfish isn't a nice thing, but my entire life I've always put everyone before me, always put off what I wanted to do, or what I wanted in general. Sometimes, being an adult really sucks, but then, I think that a lot of the time I spent as a kid, I wasn't really much of a kid either. 

    The Four of Wands, along with the Empress are powerful cards, full of magic and energy, and definitely cards you want on your side, and then you reverse them, and that all disappears. The Four pretty much reiterates what I've already thought about, that whether I have support from others or not, that what I'm doing is mine to do alone, no one can really help me now, and they can't. 

     That being said, the last thing I should be doing is putting any of this on blast... That's not really saying anything about what I'm doing except it's for me and I'm willing to admit that I am going to take some time to be selfish. 

    I guess this is where I admit that I don't really know how to read the reversed Ace of Wands in this context. It could either be if I go ahead with this, my spirit will grow dull and lazy and my plans will be thwarted, it could be that if I don't keep my mouth shut, OR, and this is what I'm feeling a little more, and maybe that's just me jumping at a glimmer of hope in an otherwise depressing set of cards, that, doing this will help me to work on my lazy spirit and currently thwarted plans. 

    My thoughts are ones of a mostly made up mind, and while I plan on looking further into the choice I am making, there is still that "I have to do this" feeling that I cannot ignore. Perhaps I will find a better way of doing things, and I'm hoping the full moon can shed some much needed light into this ever growing darkness, but for now, I'm perfectly aware, and completely fine with the face that I am on my own.